Anxiety, Then & Now
Back in the day
Thousands of years ago, the anxious human was the one who survived. She nervously scanned the horizon, perhaps all day, and was the first to see the predator creeping over the hill. Later, while her more laid-back neighbor was becoming a source of protein, our anxious, prehistoric friend was surviving another day, and able to bequeath her nervous genes to many of us today.
Simply put, the abundance of anxiety that was essential back then is (usually*) no longer useful in modern life, and it can actually keep us from living the way we want.
With that historical context in place, hopefully you can begin to go easy on yourself about your anxiety. Our species wouldn’t be here today without it.
So what can you do about it today?
Working with anxiety in therapy often involves first learning to calm the body. That’s half the battle. We must remember that our head is part of our body, and relaxing physically usually leads to relaxing mentally. One effective way to relax the body is the practice of progressive muscle relaxation, which is quick and easy to learn. Equally, diaphragmatic breathing encourages the body to slow down and relax, all by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. I teach these skills to all my clients struggling with anxiety. And once you learn these skills, you have them for the rest of your life.
Once the body has calmed, even a little bit, there is often enough space to explore thoughts and feelings that may be driving the anxiety. Talking about these with a nonjudgmental, empathic therapist is often followed by an enhanced understanding of the issues that trouble you, as well as a sense of ease. And here, too, I like to teach my clients skills to take home. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) skills are easy to learn, and then all you need is a pen, a piece of paper and the will to use logic as a way through your anxiety.
So don’t be too hard on yourself if feeling calm doesn’t come naturally to you. We modern humans come by it honestly. And we can do something about it!
*Anxiety is normal and even helpful if a lion (or lions) is running toward you.
